loki: season 2

as a disclaimer, this gets especially rambly; i also fail big time to summarize the first ~4 episodes then end up summarizing the last 2. i also switch between present tense and past tense a lot throughout this. i'm a mess, okay, god! i'm sorry! might add images to this fat chunk of text someday, i don't know.

i really like loki. i REALLY really like loki. he's been my big ol' fat hyperfixation for the past ~half year or so; to say my excitement for this show was through the roof is an understatement. loki season 1 was the first real exposure i had to the character, so it's fair to say this show is what kicked off my still rampaging obsession. it's a funny concept, because it means i started season 2 both expecting great things and also expecting the worst.

i really liked loki s1 when i didn't have a grasp on the character and who he really was, and even now, after reading lots of comics and thinking more about who loki is, i still find myself thinking fondly of that first season. i don't think things were perfect (the infamous sylvie & loki kiss, for example), but it's hard to make anything perfect. i remember being really enamored by loki's lack of power and his struggle to comprehend it. he's a magician, he's a god, but at the TVA he was none of that. i think his reaction, his stubbornness, the way he clung to what he already knew, was all very accurate. i do think that version of loki would react that way!

of course, another thing i was enamored with was the way he was changing. loki went from an angry, troubled man to someone with a purpose greater than he could even comprehend. no longer was it about the throne or the power; he had people he valued and a world he believed he was saving. there's no denying loki still had self-preservation in his vision, but, especially in the last episode, we can see the way he really feared for the safety of humanity. i suppose one could argue that all of this is still selfish - it is only when loki himself is threatened that he can be bothered to care - but i do think he really did change, and i fell in love with this version of him. the good loki.

then i read the comics, and i realized what i (and i would assume most) truly value about loki lies within the notion of choice. i don't love the loki who is only good. that destroys everything he is! no, i love the loki that might CHOOSE good when he could be bad. and who might CHOOSE bad on occasion! i love loki as a hero, as the good guy, i really do. i like it far more than him being a villain. but if he is just the good guy, then i can't appreciate it anymore - there is no light without darkness, no good without evil, etc etc. at the very least, it gets boring. at the very most, the idea that loki is now and forever a Good Guy ruins everything he has ever been.

and so i came into season 2 with a very real worry, that marvel might lead loki - the eponymous character ! - further down the path of good, into the realm of no return. i was nervous they would be too focused on the story to remember where loki's come from, the decade of MCU history and decades of marvel history. as leah from journey into mystery put it, "better to die as good fiction than live as bad." i worried marvel might choose the latter.

after watching season 2, i can't say my worries were entirely in bad faith. but i also think they might've been a little silly.

in first watching, i hated the first 3 episodes of season 2. i thought they'd massacred the show, taken an exciting end to the previous season and failed in all aspects to capture that same glory. i was especially horrified by the humor, which i felt was completely out of place considering the terrifyingly unknown ramifications of literally killing the keeper of motherfucking time. to see mobius so casually turn to rambling about jet ski's after having JUST witnessed timelines sprouting every which way made me genuinely disappointed, like i'd been betrayed by someone i'd put real trust in.

this continued through episode 2 and 3. i still wasn't feeling it in the slightest; it was only my dedication to loki that kept me going. i didn't like victor timely, i didn't like brad wolfe, i definitely didn't like whatever the hell renslayer and miss minutes were supposedly doing. and marvel made attempts at reminding us of loki's penchant for evil, but they felt forced and out of place. they can't just throw in malicious quips and shadowy crowns and think that's enough to make us think loki is still tempted by chaos, because he's so clearly not.

and then i watched episode 4, and i was changed. COMPLETELY changed. like jaw dropped, punching my pillow, squealing into my hands changed. the episode was serious. it was so serious. the jokes were there to soften the blows, again and again. marvel killed off an entire GROUP of people. people that were going to be good! and the episode was so damn crazy that we got one fuckin' reaction from a character seeing them all dead, she told the others, and then it was literally never mentioned again. holy shit.

episode 4 really is where it all came together. mysteries from episode 1 were finally solved and realized. marvel teased us with paranoia that lead to nothing, then teased us with hope that lead to despair. it was jaw dropping moments after moment, again and again. seeing victor timely die like that, turned into instant spaghetti after the entire season was leading up to him saving everything was like an out-of-body experience for me, i was so giddy with pure shock. and then the realization that there was nothing to be done (not to mention a comically long shot of mobius standing in confusion), the explosion of the temporal loom, the fade to white, the cut to black - it was PERFECT. i still think it is perfect. i watched it two more times in the next few days.

before episode 5 came out, i rewatched 1-4 with a friend, and i found myself enjoying the earlier episodes far more than before. i think i'd gotten used to the vibe; the jokes didn't seem so out of place. i still found marvel's attempts at bringing loki down a moral notch to be silly, but things fit together better now that i knew how episode 4 was going to play out.

it's around this time that i started thinking about sylvie and loki and who felt more like a loki between them. sylvie, with her distrust and desire to get the hell out of there, seemed much more like the loki i expected, the one from the original movies. but why was she like that when our loki was now the voice of hope and reason? what was the defining difference between them?

it's experience. sylvie spent her entire life on the run, ruing the day she'd been ripped from her home. she literally had no childhood, no one who loved her, no hope in the world other than the idea that she might one day destroy whoever had done this to her. and after she finally did, she still couldn't move on, because our loki needed her. given love and support and the option to trust, sylvie didn't know what to do with it, nor did she want it. is that what makes her more of a loki? that she has nothing to hold onto? that she feels she's forever alone? i don't think so...

in the comics, a big struggle for the current iteration of loki is being trapped. weighed down by expectations, by history, by the idea that he's inherently evil, a liar, unchangeable. but we know loki is none of those things. loki is who he wants to be, always.

so i think the same can be said about MCU loki. he's not an evil guy. but his entire childhood was revealed a lie, and to be raised for the throne when it was ultimately out of reach is simply cruel. this is not to excuse any of the shit he did, but it creates a more nuanced understanding of why our loki is how he is.

but it'd be wrong to say his childhood was awful. though we know little about it, there was love, and laughter, and he was a god. his mother taught him magic. thor valued their brotherhood. even if loki was too twisted to realize it at the time, he was surrounded by those who did truly care about him, even if it led to them making unwise decisions at times. sometimes i wonder, if he'd been raised by frost giants, would he have been good? maybe that's taking things a little too far...

with all this in mind, it's easier to understand why our loki might be so trusting, so honest, so hopeful. he has people he truly values now, sylvie and mobius especially. he has a life he wants to protect, an evil he wants to stop. it may have taken centuries, but he can finally appreciate the love he was given when he was younger. he can look back with wiser eyes; he can understand what he couldn't before. the problems he had back then are trivial now, gigantic rages turned little spats. sylvie can never have that. so who's more of a loki? is there even an answer? and more importantly, is our loki really that out of character?

i don't know, i really don't know. i'm torn between yes and no. maybe i'm filling in too many gaps, giving the writers more credit than is due. but i know with age comes wisdom comes understanding. sylvie never had a chance to grow; loki was given more than he likely deserves. at one point, he has to accept the truth.

anyway, episode 5 felt like the most glorious fanservice. seeing mobius' life was crazy! finally getting closure to his love for jet skis was deeply satisfying. and that casey was one of the only men that'd ever escaped from alcatraz (and, my friend pointed out, the one that'd disappeared) was such a COOL history tie-in. i think there's something extra ironic about the fact that mobius would be the person least likely to want to leave his life, especially because TVA mobius always refused to learn about himself. it's not a great life, but are any?

loki, horrified by the destruction of the TVA, his returned time-slipping, and the fact that no one knew who they'd been, couldn't let go of it all. but, as sylvie tells him, it's all still selfish. the only reason loki wants to save them and the TVA is so he can still be their friends, so they can go back to how things were. loki can't bear to lose them all, because who is he without them? everything he's been, everything he's fought for, is now gone. what else is there to do but try to get it back?

(un)luckily, we don't have to see loki wrestle with this idea very long, which is a shame. because it turns out everything is going wrong after all... after witnessing his friends turn into spaghetti, loki finally masters time-slipping. tbh, i wish they'd let loki stew with sylvie's words longer. to really think about why he needs to save everyone. i don't think there's something wrong with him wanting to be with his friends, with wanting to save what he fought so hard for. sylvie's just grateful to be done with it all, but loki understands there are bigger ramifications. maybe it'd have helped him understand himself more if he'd gotten more time to think about it.

but oh well. onto episode 6, which has loki time-slipping all over the place, going back in time and trying to prevent victor's unfortunate death. again and again, loki pushes further back, giving them more time, but it seems impossible. at one point, loki realizes he needs to learn everything about physics and time himself - this is a task that will take centuries, ouroboros claims. loki accepts it.

centuries is an unimaginable length of time. this really needn't be said, but that takes real dedication on loki's part. to imagine him spending that long learning all that for the chance of saving everyone is just the first realization that this is not selfishness; loki really has changed. i'm happy for him, i think.

anyway, after all that effort, loki finally manages to get victor to the end without spaghetti-ing himself. but it's still not enough; nothing can hold the timelines in place, which are infinitely expanding forever. in horror, loki goes back further. back to the fight from the end of season 1, before sylvie kills he who remains (hwr). a real exciting implication of this is that the sylvie + loki kiss has been essentially retconnned, thank god!!! they have more important tasks at hand, anyway.

sylvie will not go down without a fight, no matter what. but loki will not kill her. meanwhile, hwr watches with amusement from the back. turns out, he knew all along this was going to happen. he knew his death would mean destruction. he knew loki would come back. it was the only way.

around this time, loki goes way back, wayyyy way back, and time-slips to one of his and mobius' first scenes together. the one from season 1, when they're in that horrible orange room, ready to watch loki's history. now, with greater knowledge on his back - with EXPERIENCE and further WISDOM, loki can confide in mobius his anxieties, though he can't outright say them. i think this is a further example of just how much loki has changed over the course of the show - mobius can tell almost instantly that this is not the same guy that was just sitting there a moment ago. mobius tells a story of how hesitation on his part led to disaster - sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. and it's not always easy, and it's not always right. but it has to be done.

mobius delivered a line that really resonated with me: "most purpose is more burden than glory." it's a twist on one of loki's most famous lines: "i am burdened with glorious purpose." i really really really really really really love mobius' line. i think it really beautifully deconstructs loki. because at the end of the day, i don't think loki really ever needed or even necessarily wanted the throne, the crown, power. loki wanted to be valued and respected. he just didn't understand how to get those things any way other than forcefully. if he'd actually been given the power he wanted, i think he would have soon realized it wasn't what he wanted, because responsibility and chaos can never coexist peacefully.

there is only one way to save everyone, to let sylvie live and thus kill hwr, to keep the timelines intact without having to prune them. loki must make the ultimate sacrifice.

i wonder, now, did he know from the beginning that this was an option? did he know he could do it, that he had the power? perhaps it is only after realizing there is no other way that loki finally understands this is what he must do. take the timelines and the throne of time. become the next he who remains. isn't that sad?

i get kind of choked up here, because it's so heartbreakingly ironic that only when loki realizes how wanting the throne held him back all those years that he now must take it. it's a prison, one that he can't escape lest everything he values be destroyed. i get really sad because i want him to be happy so bad. i can't believe marvel has let our final version of loki suffer eternally like this.

but at the same time, i recognize the value in his sacrifice. it's the only way to understand that he's truly and utterly changed, that he's grown, that all of this has been worth it. and he'll live on eternally this way, remembered forever as the god that kept our world intact. it's sweet in the most awful way possible.

and that the timelines essentially become the tree of life around him - yggdrasil - only further shows that loki is what keeps everything together. i'm so fucking happy that he gets to be immortalized so powerfully, that he finally gets the recognition he deserves. but i'll never get over the loss.

the final episode was titled "glorious purpose", as was the first episode of season 1. and with yggdrasil, with the very nature of loki, it all becomes very circular - loki returns back to what we all once were. part of the universe. it's not death, no, but it isn't very much like life either. seeing loki accept this fate reminds me of the original MCU loki, back in 2011, and even the early thor: ragnarok loki, who fled at the idea of connection and disappeared at any sign of responsibility that was outside his warped view of power. though ragnarok: loki and our variant loki are as different as different can be, they both changed because they finally recognized the chance to. growing up is hard, but it is necessary. that this is the way loki finally gets to show he has is both a blessing and a curse.

anyway, yeah. season 2. the final season of loki, the final iteration of MCU loki, i think. i'm sad to see it end, i really am. i'm sad this is it for him. i'm sad he never gets the life he deserves. i'm so miserable for him, for eternity. i guess it's a funny little loki-ish way to end. bittersweet to the last moments.

the show has its faults, but i also think it's fantastic, and writing my thoughts out like this makes me more emotional about it. i guess it's hard to hate the company that brought my favorite character to life in the first place. and the love and respect they have for him is obvious. i'll always be a little salty that they ended it like this, but i also appreciate it.

i think at the end of the day, i'm just going to miss loki. i'll miss tom hiddleston as loki. the comics still go strong, but this is the real end of an era, and i'm witnessing it live. will it always hurt this much?

9/10 - i love loki. i always will.